Very early Monday morning, September 12th, a contraction woke me up and I made my way to the bathroom as I had done several times every night for months. However, when I got there I realized that the contraction didn’t stop when I changed positions. This happened five more times before Ari got up to get ready for work and we decided that he should probably stay home. He and Aaron went back to sleep in Aaron’s room and I tried to go back to sleep. At 7am, I got up, timed the contractions and worked around the house until 8am, when I woke up Ari. The contractions were mild and almost 45 minutes apart, and I was somewhat worried that this wasn’t the real thing and I had jumped the gun with having Ari stay home. I figured maybe a trip to the chiropractor would nudge things along and it would be great to be freshly adjusted before the big event anyway. Before we left, I lost a large piece of mucous plug and was so excited and relieved. For the first time, I felt comfortable thinking “this is it, I’m going to have this baby today.” I called to Ari, to tell him and Aaron came running in the bathroom and said “Tell me again what just came out of your butt?” So after a quick explanation of what a mucous plug is, where it comes from and why losing it is a good thing, we all headed out. Dr. Irregang was very excited for us and I felt great, but was very anxious to get back home.
Once we got back home, I ate again, texted Lauren to give her a heads up and headed outside to pace the yard while Aaron and Ari played. The contractions got more frequent while I was walking, but slowed again to around 45mins apart when we came inside. Karen (our midwife) strangely happened to call to discuss a conflict with our Wednesday appointment and (as soon as I could get a word in edge-wise) I told her we were in very early labor and probably wouldn’t need it anyway. She was SUPER excited and said to keep in touch. I was feeling slightly let-down that things didn’t seem to be progressing, but I was excited that it seemed like I would be able to let Aaron nurse for a nap. Naptime is the only time Aaron still nurses and we both treasure that time together. As each “past-due” day passed, one of the things I was anxious about was whether or not I would be able to nurse him to sleep on the big day. I knew it was important for both of us that he get a nap, so we proceeded as normal and I had FOUR contractions in the span of 15minutes while he nursed. The contractions were still mild, but getting through them while laying down, perfectly still was torture. Aaron fell asleep peacefully, and as I tip-toed out of his room (feeling like a super-hero) I had another contraction! I had assumed that I would have some while he was nursing, but I never expected that his nursing session would increase my contractions from 45minutes apart to between 3 and 5 minutes apart.
I called Karen to see what in the world was going on and she said it was totally possible that Aaron had sped up the process and asked me to track contractions for 30 minutes and call her back. After 30 minutes and 9 contractions, she decided to come over and Ari called Lauren to tell her to come right after work. I was SO excited that this was REALLY it and I still felt great. I was no longer able to talk or continue my activity through contractions, but was able to breathe through them and felt great in between. When Karen and Katie (her student midwife) arrived, I was actually vacuuming (in one last attempt to have a dog-hair-free-delivery zone) and stopping in between to sit on the sitball for contractions. Their arrival was exciting, but somewhat overwhelming to see all of their equipment and oxygen tanks, the birthing stool, etc. Within 30minutes, they were spread out, set up and Ari was making Karen a cup of coffee. Strangely, the frequency of my contractions slowed down a lot when they arrived, so I asked Karen if I should go back outside to get things going. She told me there was no medal for shortest delivery, but I could walk around outside as long as I promised to come in and rest as soon as I felt tired. We all headed back outside and Lauren arrived. Aaron was SO excited to see her and told her in no uncertain terms that it was her job to play with him and he was ready to go. My contractions picked up again while walking and by the time I felt tired I was unable to walk through them and had to stop. We all came inside and Ari prepared dinner for everyone – defrosting a homemade macaroni and cheese from the freezer and preparing and cooking carrots from our garden. It felt so good to be in my own living room, chatting with Lauren while Aaron played in the playroom and Ari fed everyone. The timing was also perfect because my contractions were getting more difficult and just as he was finishing up I started to feel like I needed his attention through the contractions. He came to sit next to me in the living room and he was just about finished eating when my water broke. I couldn’t believe how minor it felt (a little pop and a gush of liquid) after I remember it being so painful when they broke my water manually with Aaron. Karen checked the color and said “you’re almost there” and everyone got involved. I changed my clothes and we finished clearing out the living room. The contractions were getting much stronger and I was heavily relying on Ari to get through each one, either standing up and leaning over on him or sitting on the sit ball and leaning forward. My biggest source of pain was my lower back and for a while, Aaron was helping Ari rub it through each contraction. J In between, I asked Karen how I know when I need to push and if I need to tell her and she said “don’t worry about me, I’ll know.” By this time, contractions were becoming really painful and breathing through them was no longer enough. Somehow my body discovered that making really deep groaning noises was the way to go and it helped tremendously. Aaron decided he didn’t like Mommy’s noises, so he and Lauren went in the playroom. Shortly after that, I began to feel fatigued and no longer in control – like there was not quite enough time in between contractions for me to recover or to think clearly. Toward the end of one (particularly strong contraction) I made a very strange gutteral sound at the end of my moaning that surprised even myself and I heard Karen tell Katie, “that’s it.” And although I was focused on only Ari and getting through the pain, I could sense that there was lots of commotion going on around me and when Katie asked me to stand up so she could help remove my underwear, I noticed that my living room had quickly turned into the scene of my homebirth and Katie and Karen were no longer two lovely women having coffee at my dining room table discussing recipes, but by birth team and, it’s hard to explain but everything changed. Lauren got Aaron occupied watching movies in his playroom and dove in to help. The contractions were so painful by this point and it felt like nothing helped. I had Ari in the most ridiculous positions and was pulling and pushing on him and groaning was making NO progress. I felt totally out of control because the contractions were coming so quickly and totally exhausted. At one point, I collapsed completely on the floor after a contraction and it felt so good, but I couldn’t get back up for the next contraction and it hurt so badly to be in such a weird position for it. After that I totally lost my resolve and starting telling everyone I was done and couldn’t do it. The same thing happened with Aaron during transition, so Ari and I had discussed it and I told him I just need to be told I have no other option. So, everyone who had been silent and simply following my lead up until this point took over. Karen and Katie moved me onto my side and started coaching me. That is exactly what I needed at the time, but after several more horribly painful contractions, it just felt like something wasn’t right and I started begging for information “tell me I’m almost there, tell me what is going on.” Unannounced to me, Karen had also noticed that I was working way too hard and not seeing any progress. Ari told me later that he and Lauren had noticed that she was changing her gloves frequently and examining the “stuff” that was coming out under the light. She told me I needed to move again and Katie and Ari lifted me onto the birthing stool. It was at this time, that Karen decided to let us all in on the fact that the baby was breech. I was so surprised – I had been examined so many times by so many different people from 37weeks on who said she was head down and ready to go. Of all the complications I worried about, breech wasn’t one of them. I almost felt like I was back in school and hadn’t done my homework and it was too late, “I should have known, I should have fixed this.”
I felt all of that in about 2 seconds before the next contraction came and I pushed for the first time on the birthing stool and I felt the baby move. I looked at Karen and said “how did this happen, what do we do?” She said “who know, it’s okay, the baby WILL come out.” As she finished speaking, I had another contraction, pushed and felt the baby move. Well that was it, I decided I was back in charge and this hurt too much and was too difficult to prolong it. I grabbed onto Ari and started pushing and didn’t stop. I was so focused that I lost track of who was physically around me and could only hear their voices. I remember hearing Karen and Katie urge and beg me to slow down to wait for a contraction and I eventually just tuned them and continued to push. At some point, Lauren’s voice broke through telling me to breathe and I snapped out my trance-like state and realized I was probably about to pass out. So, I continued to push but starting breathing again and chanting for my baby to come out. I finally felt something come out and started to become aware of everyone else in the room. Karen was right there in front of me encouraging me and I focused again on Lauren’s voice, telling me she saw the baby. I pushed until I was really convinced the baby was out. I bent forward to take it from Karen and saw a tiny purple butt with legs hanging out. I asked Lauren to go get Aaron and Karen reached in and unlocked the baby’s arms from behind its head and firmly insisted I wait to push. I did and, in that moment that seemed like an eternity the baby started swinging its little butt back and forth as the head and shoulders were still in the birth canal. Karen gave me the go ahead to push and out it came (the most painful part of course) and I was sure I had torn halfway up my lower back. I leaned forward and Karen handed the baby to me. With Aaron I was euphoric as soon as I got to hold him, but this time with the surprise of the breech birth and difficulty of the delivery, I was just worried. The baby cried right away, but was only opening one eye.
Karen suctioned and examined quickly and told me the baby was fine. I asked if it was a boy or a girl and she said “that is your job.” I tried to look but the cord was so short, I couldn’t move the baby around or lift it off my lap. I was so frustrated at this point, that I demanded Ari who was standing a few feet away with Aaron come and help me. He moved her around until he was able to determine it was a girl! I was so excited, Aaron jumped and down and said “I was right.” Karen and Katie moved me to the couch and constantly checked the umbilical cord and the second it stopped pulsating they had Aaron cut the cord so that I could finally hold the baby on my chest. I put Brynn to my breast, expecting a steep learning curve similar to Aaron, and instead she latched on and nursed like she had been doing it for years. Being able to hold her close and watch her nurse, Aaron, Ari and Lauren sitting next to me on the couch felt so amazingly peaceful and calm. But when she was done the intensity of what had happened the hormones kicked in and I became more uncomfortable then I have ever been in my life. I gave Brynn to Ari because my entire body was trembling so severly. My hips hurt more than I ever though they could and Karen told me I would feel better if I delivered the placenta. So, I stood up and pushed it out – PLOP! The whole room laughed at how fast (and apparently comical it was) and Karen was barely able to catch it. For the next half hour or so, Ari and Lauren took turns holding Brynn while Karen and Katie attended to me. I was so overwhelmed physically and mentally, I felt sad I couldn’t hold Brynn but at the same time loved that Lauren was there and holding her right next to me. After a blur of homeopathics and herbs and coconut water, I finally stopped trembling and was able to breathe and take Brynn back. We crawled into bed and suddenly everything felt right. Everyone sat around the bed, Aaron crawled up and cuddled in next to Brynn and I was so happy to be in my own bed, in my own house in such a personal environment. I can’t imagine going through this process any other way. Lauren left shortly after that. Katie and Karen waited until we were ready and then quickly did Brynn’s newborn assessment and checked me out downstairs. They then disappeared for a while and then popped in to say goodnight. I realize now, they were cleaning up and returning everything to the way it was – amazing.
